I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I don't go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it's contrived and forced. I just live my life, and I see things in a word or a situation or a concept, and it will create a joke for me.

I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings... Boy With Pail... Kitten On Fire.

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I said, 'oh, that's OK, I'm not going that far.'

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.

Having sex with her is incredible. It's just like a concert. We throw Frisbees around the room. And when she wants more she lights a match.