I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

I took my dog for a walk... all the way from New York to Florida... I said to him "There now you're done."

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.

I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be. I called someone. They went "Aaaaahhhh..."

I was going to tape some records onto a cassette, but I got the wires backwards. I erased the all of the records. When I returned them to my friend, he said, "Hey, these records are all blank."

Do you have any toy train schedules?