To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.

I haven't changed at all. I'm the same as when I was 11.

I saw a vegetarian wearing a furry coat. so I looked closer. it was made of grass.

Yesterday, my eyeglass prescription ran out.

I'm a peripheral visionary.

Only one in four jokes ever works, and I still can't predict what people will laugh at.