To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

It's very intense to be in front of a live audience. It's just an amazing experience. It's dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The bad stuff is extra-worse. The silences are extra-silent. The good stuff is amazing. It's electric when you walk out there. For 90 minutes, you're on this other planet.

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

When I was 16... I worked in a pet store. And they fired me because... they had three snakes in there, and one day I braided them.

I worked in a health food store once. A guy asked me, 'If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?

Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.