You know, the New Testament is pretty old. I think they should call them the Old Testament and the Most Recent Testament.
If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place.
You know how it is when you’re walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there’s one more step? I’m like that all the time.
You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment and nobody else shows up and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time.