To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, Do you have any toy train schedules?

I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.

I forgot and left the lighthouse on all night. Next day the sun wouldn't rise.