How do you tell when you’re out of invisible ink?
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
I got an answering machine for my phone. . . . Now, when I'm not home and somebody calls me up . . . they hear a recording of a busy signal.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
George Carlin's album, 'Class Clown,' came out when I was in high school. I memorized a lot of that album. I'd come home from school, put it on, and listen over and over. I started memorizing it. I don't even know why. I loved it so much I memorized it.