Childhood was very nice. The only thing wrong was that I was so introverted, everything became a big deal... 'Oh, no, here comes the bus. Where am I gonna sit on the bus?'

I broke my arm trying to fold a bed. It wasn't the kind that folds.

I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.

I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them.

When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say it all the right way. It's funny how different it looks and how it's happening. There are three Fellini circuses in my head, and outwardly it looks like I'm going to get a bagel.

How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn’t live there?

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting out of the water?