Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?

If Dracula can't see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?

They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning. I like to live on the edge.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

I got my driver's license photo taken out of focus on purpose. Now when I get pulled over, the cop looks at it [moving it nearer and farther, trying to see it clearly], and says, "Here, you can go"

I kept a diary right after I was born. Day 1: Tired from the move. Day 2: Everyone thinks I'm an idiot.

I got a dog and named him 'Stay'. Now, I go 'Come here, Stay!' After a while, the dog went insane and wouldn't move at all.