I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes. They had little pictures of cats on them. Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.
Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home.
Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers. You'd see a flock of birds come by, laughing hysterically!