I just got this new camera. It's very advanced - you don't even need it.

Last night I fell asleep in a satellite dish. My dreams were broadcast all over the world.

I recently went to the hardware store and I bought some used paint... it was in a shape of a house. I also bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.

In a lot of ways, success is much harder than I thought it would be. I figured that you'd get here and then everything would be happily ever after. But, it's hard work, almost harder once you're successful because you've got to maintain it.

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.

If you got into a taxi and the driver started driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.