I had amnesia once or twice.
My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.
When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.
I was hitchhiking the other day and a hearse stopped. I said, 'No thanks, I'm not going that far.
I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
It's a fine night to have an evening.