I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

I was in the first submarine. Instead of a periscope, they had a kaleidoscope. "We're surrounded."

I invented the cordless extension cord.

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet?

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

How can there be self-help groups?

I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.