I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.

I was skydiving horizontally.

All those who believe in psychokinesis - raise my hand.

My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

I rented a lottery ticket. I won a million dollars. But I had to give it back.

43.7 per cent of all statistics are made up on the spot.