I had my coat hangers spayed.

In my house on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above... so I never have to go upstairs.

How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?

I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day. When I got home the front door wouldn't open.

I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.

I just have a relationship with my imagination. It's like my friend, almost.

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?