I always thought Johnny Carson was just brilliant, and I used to watch him and all the comics that would be on the show every night - and I'd dream about it being me.
Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
I’m so tired... I was up all night trying to round off infinity.
Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business.