If it doesn't say Binford on it, somebody else probably made it.

The ego is like a kid in the basement: It's best to keep him busy.

Pere Noel. Babbo Natale. Pelznickel. Topo Gigio

I blend memories. I blend them into one that's funny. I exaggerate to clarify.

For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.

Boys can be disgusting. You can't leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We're just obnoxious.

I have an only child. She's so independent and good with adults.