So I went down the local supermarket, I said "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it", he said "Those are pickled onions".
I was in this restaurant and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.
I took part in the sun-tanning Olympics – I just got bronze.
If you compulsively pun you are called a paronomasiac.
I went out on a date with Simile. I don't know what I metaphor.
I met this gangster who pulls up people's pants. Name's Wedgie Kray.