Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. Exit signs? They're on their way out.
I'd like to start with the chimney jokes - I've got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.
I love acting, but it's all just a bonus.
People think that because of my act that I must have a really busy mind and I must be driven. I really am not. I quite like going outside and looking at spiders on a hedge in my garden and stuff.
I was at sea the other day and loads of meat floated past. It was a bit choppy.
I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet 'Best Before End...'