You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter.

As you get older you're told to be sensible, but it's important for writing if you're a comic that you're able to still access that childlike thing.

My house is a bit like a teenager's bedroom. The kind of pictures you have hanging up on your wall say a lot about you. I've got ones of Evel Knievel, Elvis and Starsky and Hutch, signed by David Soul.

People think that because of my act that I must have a really busy mind and I must be driven. I really am not. I quite like going outside and looking at spiders on a hedge in my garden and stuff.

Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds.

I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.

Now did you know if a stick insect laid it's eggs in a jar of Bovril it will give birth to a litter of twiglets.