So I was getting into my car and this bloke says to me, 'Can you give me a lift?' I said, 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it!'

You know, I'm not very good at magic - I can only do half of a trick. Yes - I'm a member of the Magic Semi-circle.

Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds.

People think that because of my act that I must have a really busy mind and I must be driven. I really am not. I quite like going outside and looking at spiders on a hedge in my garden and stuff.

I'm not someone who gets to play The O2 and places like that, but that's the kind of rock and roll venue. The popularity of stand-up means that some people are getting to play rock star venues.

So this bloke says to me, "Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets?" I thought "That's all I need, a Je-hoover's witness".

I took part in the sun-tanning Olympics – I just got bronze.