So I was getting into my car and this bloke says to me, 'Can you give me a lift?' I said, 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it!'

If you do weave one-liners into a story, you have to have an overall story as well, otherwise it doesn't really count as narrative.

If you compulsively pun you are called a paronomasiac.

You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter.

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.

Black beauty - he's a dark horse.

I phoned the local ramblers club today and this bloke just went on and on.