So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.

One-armed butlers, they can take it but they can't dish it out

My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?" I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.

I went out on a date with Simile. I don't know what I metaphor.

The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it.

If you compulsively pun you are called a paronomasiac.