Believe it or not, there are twice as many eyebrows in the world as there are people.

I love acting, but it's all just a bonus.

The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it.

One-armed butlers, they can take it but they can't dish it out

So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.'

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.

As you get older you're told to be sensible, but it's important for writing if you're a comic that you're able to still access that childlike thing.