I phoned the local ramblers club today and this bloke just went on and on.

One of the things I like about when I tour sometimes is that occasionally you'll see a dad there with his 12-year-old son and they're both enjoying it.

You see I'm against hunting, in fact I'm a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.

So I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.

I was in this restaurant and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.

For one thing, I don’t pun excessively in real life.