I'd like to start with the chimney jokes - I've got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.
Conjunctivitis.com — that’s a site for sore eyes.
For one thing, I don’t pun excessively in real life.
Velcro: what a rip-off.
One of the things I like about when I tour sometimes is that occasionally you'll see a dad there with his 12-year-old son and they're both enjoying it.
My friend told me he was going to a fancy-dress party as an Italian island. I said: 'Don’t be Sicily’.