The good chip allows you to whistle while you walk in the dark alleys of golf.

I know you can be fined for throwing a club, but I want to know if you can get fined for throwing a caddie?

The biggest liar in the world is the golfer who claims he plays the game for exercise.

Putting allows the touchy golfer two to four opportunities to blow a gasket in the short space of two to forty feet.

Actually I was more of a breaker than a thrower - most of them putters. I broke so many of those that I probably became the world's foremost authority on how to putt without a putter.

In golf, driving is a game of free-swinging muscle control, while putting is something like performing eye surgery and using a bread knife for a scalpel.

Always throw your clubs ahead of you. That way you don't have to waste energy going back to pick them up.