The good chip allows you to whistle while you walk in the dark alleys of golf.

There is no better game in the world when you are in good company, and no worse game when you are in bad company.

Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you're dead.

The biggest liar in the world is the golfer who claims he plays the game for exercise.

Always throw your clubs ahead of you. That way you don't have to waste energy going back to pick them up.

Golf is a game where guts and blind devotion will always net you absolutely nothing but an ulcer.

Water holes are sacrificial waters where you make a steady gift of your pride and high-priced balls.