I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.

Two fish in a tank, one says to the other - you drive I'll man the guns.

I backed horse last week at ten to one. It came in at quarter past four.

My wife had a go at me last night. She said, Youll drive me to my grave. I had the car out in thirty seconds.

Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's, T's and H's.” “Well you can't say fairer than that then

A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc. "It's ... um ... well ... I have five penises." replies the man. "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a glove."

Two cannibals eating a clown. One asks the other, 'Does this taste funny to you?'