My wife had a go at me last night. She said, Youll drive me to my grave. I had the car out in thirty seconds.
Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone.
I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
A friend of mine drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.
Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!