Two fish in a tank, one says to the other - you drive I'll man the guns.

I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died."

I've been on the whisky diet - I've already lost three days!

So I went to the Doctor's yesterday. He said, "What appears to be the problem?" I said, "I keep having this dream, night after night, beautiful girls rushing towards me and I keep pushing them away." He said, "How can I help?" I said: "Break my arms."

And an airplane of spittle dived into the sea, there were no salivas.

I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost 3 days already.

Two peanuts walk into a rather rough bar, not looking for any trouble. Unfortunately, one was a salted.