Two cannibals eating a clown. One asks the other, 'Does this taste funny to you?'

Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.

A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc. "It's ... um ... well ... I have five penises." replies the man. "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a glove."

I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

A friend of mine drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. I thought, "That's a turn-up for the books".

A guy walks into a pub with a lump of asphalt on His shoulder, He says to the bar man give us a pint and one for the road.