Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

I had a ploughman's lunch the other day. He wasn't very happy.

I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure

I always sit in the tail end of a plane, always. You never hear of an plane backing into a mountain.

So I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?". I said "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".

I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died."

'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'