Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

A man walks into a bar, and he said OUCH, cause it was an iron bar.

My dog was barking at everyone the other day. Still, what can you expect from a cross-breed.

A friend of mine drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds". I said "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".

So I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said "Are you two an item?"

A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time' The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'.