And an airplane of spittle dived into the sea, there were no salivas.

Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.

I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?' He said, 'Yes,' so I said, 'Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich.'

I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.

So I knocked on the door at this bed & Breakfast and a lady stuck her head out of the window and said: 'What do you want', I said, 'I want to stay here'. She said, 'Well stay there' and shut the window.

I had a ploughman's lunch the other day. He wasn't very happy.

I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French, surprised everybody. It was a Chinese restaurant. I said to this Chinese waiter, 'Look, this chicken I got here is cold.' He said, 'It should be, it's been dead two weeks.'