A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

My dog was barking at everyone the other day. Still, what can you expect from a cross-breed.

I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

Two peanuts walk into a rather rough bar, not looking for any trouble. Unfortunately, one was a salted.

I always sit in the tail end of a plane, always. You never hear of an plane backing into a mountain.

It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.

So I knocked on the door at this bed & Breakfast and a lady stuck her head out of the window and said: 'What do you want', I said, 'I want to stay here'. She said, 'Well stay there' and shut the window.