I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
A guy walks into a pub with a lump of asphalt on His shoulder, He says to the bar man give us a pint and one for the road.
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.
I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.
I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died."
I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.