It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.

A friend of mine drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

Two cannibals eating a clown. One asks the other, 'Does this taste funny to you?'

I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure

A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc. "It's ... um ... well ... I have five penises." replies the man. "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a glove."

I always sit in the tail end of a plane, always. You never hear of an plane backing into a mountain.