I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.
I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died."
I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter.
I had a ploughman's lunch the other day. He wasn't very happy.
'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home. 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'