A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time' The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'.
Tommy CooperDoctor, I can't pronounce my F's, T's and H's.โ โWell you can't say fairer than that then
Tommy CooperI inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and a Stradivarius. Unfortunately, Rembrandt made lousy violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter.
Tommy Cooper