Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!

A man walks into a bar, and he said OUCH, cause it was an iron bar.

A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time' The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'.

Two cannibals eating a clown. One asks the other, 'Does this taste funny to you?'

And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said 'Do you earn a living doing that?' He said 'Yes, this my livelihood.'

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly; but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

So I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said "Are you two an item?"