Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.

And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said 'Do you earn a living doing that?' He said 'Yes, this my livelihood.'

A man walks into a bar, and he said OUCH, cause it was an iron bar.

A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time' The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'.

Two peanuts walk into a rather rough bar, not looking for any trouble. Unfortunately, one was a salted.

My dog was barking at everyone the other day. Still, what can you expect from a cross-breed.

He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. I thought, "That's a turn-up for the books".