My wife had a go at me last night. She said, Youll drive me to my grave. I had the car out in thirty seconds.
Tommy CooperSo a man jumps into a taxi and says "King Arthur's close" and the taxi driver says, "don't worry we'll lose him at the next lights".
Tommy CooperOur ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.
Tommy CooperDoctor, I can't pronounce my F's, T's and H's.โ โWell you can't say fairer than that then
Tommy Cooper