I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure

A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc. "It's ... um ... well ... I have five penises." replies the man. "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a glove."

Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds later they come alight again, well the other day there was a fire at the factory that makes them.

I always sit in the tail end of a plane, always. You never hear of an plane backing into a mountain.

I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.

Two cannibals eating a clown. One asks the other, 'Does this taste funny to you?'

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'