I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure

Man went into a bar, he only had one arm. Guy sitting next to him said 'Hey, you've got your sleeve in my drink', man replied, 'There's no arm in it'

I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.

A man goes to a fancy dress party dressed only in his Y-fronts. A woman comes up to him and says "What are you supposed to be?" The man says "A premature ejaculation." "What?" says the woman. The man explains "I've just come in my pants."

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

A jump lead walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.