So I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode. I said "Are you two an item?"
Tommy CooperIt's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Tommy CooperMan went into a bar, he only had one arm. Guy sitting next to him said 'Hey, you've got your sleeve in my drink', man replied, 'There's no arm in it'
Tommy CooperI went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite.
Tommy Cooper