Gotta love alcohol and sex hormones.

I stop paying attention because as much as I love beauty, I hate stupidity, and seeing the two combined pisses me off.

The meaning of life is to create meaning for your life.

Random Girl after a hookup: "Do you love me" Tucker: "I don't understand the question.

Communication is not what we say, but what you hear (which is a lesson I wish our educational system understood)

Ladies, you may not realize this, understand this, or even believe this, but everything else we do is ultimately for you. Men don't do anything-create art, build businesses, donate to charity, invent things, or do anything noteworthy-for any reason other than to impress women, and thus get them to have sex with us. If women didn't exist, we'd still just be naked grunting apes living in caves. In a very real way, pussy is the key to human civilization. You don't have to like it, but it's a fact; if you understand it, you understand men.

The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.