The Big Five publishing companies are dinosaurs trying to survive in a post-meteor world. They won't.

You can't fill your emails with crap, at least not with my friends, because they're brutal. If something sucks, they'll tell you.

If you want to be seen as courageous by some and hated by others, just say what you really think.

Halloween revolves around delicious candy, excessive alcohol, and horny women dressed as sluts. This also describes my vision of Heaven.

The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.

The only thing that someone could say about me that would hurt me would be something that's true that I don't want to be.

I started writing because it was about making my friends laugh, and when you're talking to your friends, you can't bullshit.