I think 20th century media were about tricking people - and the beauty of the Internet is you can't lie anymore.

Failure either ruins you, or turns you into the man you can become.

I sold a million books because I have a lot of fans, not because people hate me.

Two girls called me closed minded. I tell them that they are so open-minded their brains leaked out.

Guys, we spend our whole lives trying to get pussy, so when pussy comes to us, it's like, "Whoa, this is amazing!" At 27, I thought nothing could be better than that, but at 35, I've come to understand the darker side of it.

I love women, I love alcohol, and I love combining the two. If God invented anything better than drunk sex with a hot girl, he kept it to himself.

I'm not even the coolest one of my friends. I'm just the guy who sat down and wrote everything down. Like I know plenty of people who do crazier stuff than I do.