The vast majority of all consequences, especially in 21st century America, are completely meaningless bullshit.

To my friends and people I care about, I'm a really nice guy. No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff.

It used to be that companies with industrial economies of scale created business success. Now, success will come from the information economies of scale, either the ones with complete breadth, or complete depth.

Most of my success, I feel, comes from being a good editor as opposed to a great writer.

I don't want to compare myself to Picasso, but he had four or five periods in his life. Any good artist grows and changes and matures.

I'm never going to be Tolstoy.

That's the beauty of alcohol. If you don't remember it, it didn't happen.