The vast majority of all consequences, especially in 21st century America, are completely meaningless bullshit.

Motherfucker. She leaves me no choice. Now I have to break her self-esteem, sleep with her and steal the shirt.

No sheep wants to be first through the gate, but every sheep will be second.

A lot of people think that since I'm drunk in my stories, I must be drunk 24 hours a day. What kind of stupid logic is that? It'd be like if you saw Michael Jordan at a restaurant and were like, "Why aren't you in your basketball uniform?" I leave out way more than I put in.

I have tons of fans in Canada. I've sold hundreds of thousands of books there.

Critics stopped being relevant when they stopped writing to inform and contextualize, and when they started writing to signal who they are, to display their identity by their stance on what they are writing about. Criticism should never be about the critic, but thats what it has become, and that’s why no one cares about them anymore.

Even if I was a Republican, George Bush would have pushed me out of that party.