No one has probably helped me more with my narcissism than my dog.

You can't do anything yourself on TV... unless you have a LOT of money, but you can do an independent movie.

The vast majority of all consequences, especially in 21st century America, are completely meaningless bullshit.

Guys, we spend our whole lives trying to get pussy, so when pussy comes to us, it's like, "Whoa, this is amazing!" At 27, I thought nothing could be better than that, but at 35, I've come to understand the darker side of it.

Critics stopped being relevant when they stopped writing to inform and contextualize, and when they started writing to signal who they are, to display their identity by their stance on what they are writing about. Criticism should never be about the critic, but thats what it has become, and that’s why no one cares about them anymore.

Gotta love alcohol and sex hormones.

Look at the scope of writers who sell stuff. I'm at the very top of the power curve in terms of sales.