To my friends and people I care about, I'm a really nice guy. No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff.

Frankly, I'd rather make a little bit less money if it means living in a better world for books and publishing in the future.

Hollywood, it's just like high school. Whoever is pretty and popular, everyone wants to be with.

Even if I was a Republican, George Bush would have pushed me out of that party.

No sheep wants to be first through the gate, but every sheep will be second.

TV has a longer narrative, and TV's more like short stories. So there's less rules with TV; you can make it a little bit different. [With] movies, the medium has more constraints, so it was just about what stories are the most cinematic and the best resolution.

If you make comedy, if you try and make comedy where no one gets upset or offended, you're going to fail.