Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.

Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

The essence of a general's job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose . to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.

I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.

When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.