Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.

Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.

Flint must be an extremely wealthy town: I see that each of you bought two or three seats.

Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.

The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.

(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.