If I have caused just one person to wipe away a tear of laughter, that's my reward.

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

Flint must be an extremely wealthy town: I see that each of you bought two or three seats.

The elephant smoked too much.(explaining why the keys of his piano were so yellow)

In my dreams of Heaven, I always see the great Masters gathered in a huge hall in which they all reside. Only Mozart has his own suite.

When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.

When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.