Beethoven wrote in three flats a lot. That's because he moved twice.

The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.

I normally don't do requests. Unless, of course, I have been asked to do so.

I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.

In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.

And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.

...the elephant smoked too much.