And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.

...the elephant smoked too much.

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger.

I do not have a single white note on my piano; my elephant smoked too much.

It (the double-clarinet in India) was primarily used for snake charming, since the snake would do almost anything to get the Indians to stop playing it.

The essence of a general's job is to assist in developing a clear sense of purpose . to keep the junk from getting in the way of important things.