Did you know that Mozart had no arms and no legs? I've seen statues of him on people's pianos.
The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.
Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.
I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano.
...the elephant smoked too much.
Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.