I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.

A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.

I wish to thank my parents for making it all possible? and I wish to thank my children for making it necessary.

In my youth, I wanted to be a great pantomimist -- but I found I had nothing to say.