I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.

I do not have a single white note on my piano; my elephant smoked too much.

I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.

The conductor is a peculiar person. He turns his back on his friends in the audience, shakes a stick at his players in the orchestra, and then wonders why nobody loves him.

Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger.

The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.

Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.