That's why I've never thought of retiring because I do it all the time whether on the stage or off. I found that in a precarious situation, a smile is the shortest distance between people. When one needs to reach out for sympathy or a link with people, what better way is there?

...the elephant smoked too much.

The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.

Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger.

(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

I do not have a single white note on my piano; my elephant smoked too much.