Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.

Occasionally, a finger comes up to wipe a tear [of laughter] from the eye... and that's my reward... the rest goes to the government.

They say that Nero started the fire himself because he needed a suitable backdrop for his concert.

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

What soap is to the body, laughter is to the soul. Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.

There are three Bachs. Johann, Sebastian and Offen.

I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano.