Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.

(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded?

I only know two pieces; one is 'Clair de Lune' and the other one isn't.

The oboe sounds like a clarinet with a cold.

Well, all's fair in love, war and fooling the critics.

The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.