Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.

When I was a little boy and played Liebestraum, my father used to hit me on the head with a newspaper every time I slopped the cadenza . . . I hate Liebestraum.

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

Read (this book), smile, enjoy, and if you happen to learn something along the way, don't get upset.

I learned to play the piano on my mother's knee - that was before we got a piano.

I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year.

And now, in honour of the 150th anniversary of Beethoven's death, I would like to play 'Clear the Saloon', er, 'Clair de Lune', by Debussy. I don't play Beethoven so well, but I play Debussy very badly, and Beethoven would have liked that.